Peggy Dowling hardly had a normal upbringing.
She grew up without a mother and father and for more than 70 years was completely unaware she was the youngest of six children.
Along with her elder sister Betty, she was raised in an orphanage with nearly 600 troubled children. But she was warm, she was safe and above all, she was well fed.
The most important ingredients missing from Peggy’s early life were a loving mother who would warmly hug her baby and a strong father figure.
Peggy grew up believing the only family she had in the whole world was her sister Betty.
On Monday, the nation’s political leaders apologised for the pain and deprivation felt by around half-a-million people who grew up in orphanages and foster homes in the past century.
Prime Minister Kevin Rudd and Leader of the Opposition Malcolm Turnbull formally said sorry to the ‘Lost Innocents’ and ‘Forgotten Australians’ during a special ceremony attended by around 900 people at Parliament House.
While the apology was welcomed by Peggy, she understands it can never change the past and will fail to alter the future. “There’s nothing that could have been done. My mother couldn’t help what happened, I couldn’t help what happened. You have no choice but to get on with it,” she said.
Mr Turnbull, who spent time at the National Orphanage Museum in Bankstown to help prepare for his speech, said the apology was necessary because people should be entitled to a childhood not hindered by suffering.
“We must apologise because we cannot restore the one thing to which all people should be entitled to – a childhood unencumbered by pain, and brutality and suffering,” the Opposition Leader said.
Peggy concedes her childhood was far from rose coloured. But unlike many, it wasn’t filled with physical, mental and sexual abuse.
“We were well looked after, we just didn’t have the personal care of a mother. Someone to cuddle you and make you feel safe,” she said.
A childhood obeying the orders of stern matrons in an institution without close family or friends has given Peggy one of life’s most important gits: the ability to cherish loved ones.
The great grandmother of eight smothers her offspring with love and admiration. The same as she cuddles Betty’s gang of 25 grandchildren and 32 great grandchildren.
And in the last year or so, Peggy has discovered a newfound love for relatives she never dreamed she had.
After an in-depth investigation by ABC Television show, ‘Can We Help?’, Peggy and Betty met their long-lost siblings Leonard and June. The pair also discovered they had an elder brother Allan and elder sister Gladys, both of whom were deceased.
It’s given the mother of two a new lease of life. “I think it’s the most wonderful thing in the world; truly magic,” she said.
In recent years, Peggy found out her father died at the age of 84. She was led to believe by Burnside Children’s Home he died at the age of 34.
Such lies are not uncommon.
Of the 7000 children forced to migrate from Britain and were then thrown into institutional care, dubbed the ‘Lost Innocents’, and the 500,000 Australians put into orphanages, the vast majority failed to discover family.
In fourteen months, Peggy and Betty have discovered hundreds.
And herein lies the frustration. Both have lived successful lives. Both have married the men of their dreams and gone on to have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
But for 74 years, something was missing. Neither knew they were part of a large, caring family.
It hurts, concedes Peggy. “It seems crazy I lived my life not knowing of my family and how loving they were,” she said.
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