Terry and Michelle Apps said it over and over again - "Thank you!" That's what they wanted the Tribune to say, more than anything. To everyone. For everything.
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Since Terry was badly burnt in a Bowning fire on Sunday January 5 they have been inundated with support.
Michelle said she counted up the other day and realised she's gone through 36 large jars of Moccona coffee since the fire.
"And that's not even counting all the tea bags and Milo!" she said.
They still don't know who some of the benefactors have been, with people dropping off hay to their Bowning property without saying a word.
Community groups have helped as well. The day the Trib spoke to them they'd just received a cheque from the Bookham Ag Bureau, as just one of many groups that have lent them support.
It's a tribute to how much they are loved and appreciated by the community.
"You know you live in a nice place," Michelle said, "But it's not until something like this happens that you realise just how amazing it really is. We've just been overwhelmed by help and support."
Life will never be the same again for the much-loved couple.
For Terry, there are of course the physical effects: his face is healing nicely but burns on his hands and elbow still have a long way to go and other side effects are still emerging, like bloating in his legs, a recent development.
Then there are the psychological scars. Terry will never drive that ute again, for starters. And various things trigger a gut-wrenching response in him. He is still often woken from sleep by nightmares. His short-term memory comes and goes.
For Michelle, the big, strong bloke who has always taken care of her and the family is now needing to be cared for.
"Oh, we have our moments!" she says with her characteristic laugh. But the love and respect between them is palpable.
Michelle describes the events of that day*:
"Sunday the 5th of January was just another typical busy hot day at the farm. Terry had been out attending to some jobs most of the day. At about 4 o'clock he decided to come in for some lunch and to have a rest until it cooled off in the evening. And then he planned to head back out, which is nothing different at the farm.
Terry was laying on the floor cuddled up to Eric - the cat that is! I was on the lounge. I smelt smoke and told Terry. We were very lucky on that day that the front door was open or the fire might have been upon us before we knew.
Terry jumped up and looked out the door and I won't repeat what he said, I started the ute while he checked the fire pump, and off he went. He said 'I'll be back in five'. He must've been thinking it was just going to be a small fire on the road side, ones like he has attended before."
Terry explained to the Tribune what happened next.
"I drove down and saw the fire swirling up the hill. The paddock was full of rabbit holes and stumps - the worst thing you want to do is get stuck on a stump - so I was driving the way I knew, to try and get back around to the house.
"I stopped to cut through a fence, I got out the bolt cutters, then turned around and the fire was right there. I just had time to put the bolt cutters down and grab the hose."
Terry said he held the hose so it would shoot out a mist of spray around him as the fire passed over... but he heard a pop and realised the pump had gone. He had a split second but nowhere to go - all he could do was crouch on the ground by the side of the ute, up against the door. He was wearing his fire brigade jacket but hadn't had a chance to put on his hat, gloves or any other protective gear. The fire came underneath the truck and consumed Terry in its path - burning his face and hands the most.
Incredibly, Terry ran through the fire twice more to get through the fence. Then, he not only managed to get in his truck and drive back toward his house, but he got out and fought the fire for another 40 minutes. It was this time lapse between getting burnt and being treated that has meant his injuries were compounded.
"I really want to tell people that if they get burnt they've got to seek help straight away," he said.
He described his fingers as being like burnt, blackened sausages.
More from Michelle*:
When Terry arrived at Yass Hospital, the professionalism and care and the decisions that were made by the staff on duty that evening in the first instance of his arrival is the reason I believe he is alive and why Terry's face has healed with minimal scarring.
"Terry was so lucky to have the nurses and doctor who made the best decisions with limited time to save his life."
One nurse later told them that it took her three days to get the stench of burnt flesh out of her nostrils.
Terry was transferred to the Burns Unit at Royal North Shore Hospital via helicopter, where he was placed in a coma for several days to help his body recover from the trauma. His eyelids had melted shut. Black liquid was pumped from his lungs.
Terry says he was in a dark place in the days that followed.
"I gave up. I really did, I thought that was it for me."
He said it was a male nurse who forced him out of it.
"He told me to wake up to myself. He told me I was in a dark place and the only way out of it was to find the positive. So I tried.
"Everyone that came into my room, nurses, everyone, I'd ask 'Can you help me?' And I'd ask them about what they did to get positive. But nothing helped.
"You can't get it from anyone else - it's got to come from you. I thought and thought about it for days."
He said a picture drawn by his grand daughter of him in hospital, with tubes and everything else, became something he focused on. He realised he had the love of his family and needed to be here for them.
He is unable to get back into full-time work yet - that could still be 12 months or more away. But he works as he can, because there's no stopping Terry. Amazingly, he is still a member of the Bowning Bushfire Brigade.
"I don't know how I'll go, to be honest, but I can't not do it - you've gotta do it. Would you stand back and watch a mate get into a fight and not help?"
The couple wanted to particularly thank the RFS, locally and in Sydney, for ongoing help and support.
However, they had a word of warning about insurance, after being stung on their mortgage insurance.
"Check the fine print!" Michelle said.
"And always remember that if you or someone you know is struggling with depression, grieving or just not coping with every day life there is always help at hand, even if it is just a coffee and chat.
I personally ask please don't try to face and deal with your battles alone, life is a gift and we all need to enjoy and love every day to the fullest.
We have learnt through our tragedy people truly do care and we are so blessed to have the love and care of so many family and friends and a wonderful community."
*The above sections in italics are excerpts from the speech Michelle gave at the fundraiser for Terry at the Soldier's Club on Saturday February 15. The full text of the speech is available at www.yasstribune.com.au.
Michelle Apps’ speech at the Terry Apps fundraiser in February.
When I started to write a few words to thank everyone, I really didn't know where or how to start, so I decided to start at the very beginning. Sunday the 5th of January was just another typical busy hot day at the farm, Terry had been out attending to some jobs most of the day. At about four o'clock he decided to come in for some lunch and to have a rest until it cooled off in the evening and then he planned to head back out, which is nothing different at the farm.
Terry was lying on the floor cuddled up to Eric (the cat that is) !! I was on the lounge and would you believe I wasn't on Facebook, I was actually playing suduko. I smelled smoke and told Terry, we were very lucky on that day that the front door was open or the fire might have been upon us before we knew.
Terry jumped up and looked out the door and I won't repeat what he said, I started the ute whilst Terry checked the fire pump, and off he went, he said I’ll be back in five. He must have been thinking it was just going to be a small fire on the road side, ones like he has attended before. The thing he didn't tell me was whether it was five minutes, five hours or five days. As you all know Terry was burnt whilst trying to help save the property across the road and stop it before it impacted our farm.
And in the blink of an eye our whole lives where changed and turned up-side down. But this courageous man didn't let the burns stop him from getting in his burnt ute and driving to our farm, where he courageously fought the flames for a further 40 minutes. Even after he was repeatedly told to seek medical advice, he will now tell you that he probably should’ve listened to this wonderful person who helped in the difference between life and death. As the ambulance was delayed a decision was made by an amazing man to put him in his vehicle and get him to hospital ASAP. These two people are truly amazing and we will forever be grateful to you.
I truly believe you are the reason why we still have him with us. When Terry arrived at YDH the professionalism and care and the decisions that were made by the staff on duty that evening, in the first instance of his arrival, is the reason I believe he is alive and why Terry’s face has healed with minimal scarring. Terry was so lucky to have the nurses and doctor who made the best decisions with limited time to save his life. I would also like to give a huge thank you to the doctors and pilot of SouthCare, you truly are amazing and wonderful people. To the staff at RNSH ICU and the burns unit we thank you for everything and all your help whilst Terry was there and for the ongoing care that he is receiving. We still have many trips ahead of us and a long road to recovery.
Terry is an amazing husband, father, grandfather, uncle and mate. He has always worked hard and does his best to give his family the good things in life.
In life we all face challenges and there is an old saying "what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger", well my husband is proof of this. Our love for him is unconditional and we will be right beside him for every step of his recovery.
Now to the all the caring, loving, supporting people of this amazing and wonderful community, to the wonderful people that have delivered hay and feed for our stock your generosity is so overwhelming and appreciated. To Marg Fish and Kath Leslie for the yummiest cakes and meals that you cooked and dropped in, giving me that extra time to spend caring for Terry’s needs, to everyone that visited, sent cards and phoned, sent messages of love and support and offers of help we are so blessed to have you. And to all the fire brigades and the people in private units who attended and helped fight the fire on our property and the other property, a huge thank you. To my husband for having our property over grazed in which I believe stopped it from burning further afield, you are my hero.
Thank you to our wonderful sons, Blake and Ben for everything and taking over the reins whilst we were in Sydney and for all the ongoing help and support. To our daughter-in-law Codie for the meals and cleaning my house whilst I was away and for the support you have given to myself, Terry, Blake and our beautiful grandson Braxton during this challenging time. To our daughter Tara for flying down to be there and support me when things weren't the best, and for also returning back to her home and then flying back with our two beautiful granddaughters to help with poppy’s recovery. It was the best.
Also a special thank you for the love and support from Annette and Gary and family; Sandra and family; and Georgie for all her professional assistance love and support. To our brother Spud, I really don't know how we can thank you for everything that you have done for all the members of the Apps family, you truly are one in a million.
To Eric and Julie I honestly am lost for words (I know it’s probably a first for me) but with all the support, love, friendship and hard work and giving up your own work and time to help us, also for helping ease the burden with our cattle, and being at the end of the line at any time day or night, we can never thank you enough. As Terry has said he has a mate for life.
To Ken White, your wonderful, professional help, advice and friendship over the past six weeks has been amazing and is greatly appreciated, and also for easing the stress of finding property for our cattle some hard decisions have had to be made but you truly have made it a lot easier for both myself and Terry.
To Donna and Rodney Luff for all your support and help especially taking the pressure off me in the organising of Terry’s ute repairs.
To the wonderful Leanne and Steve Hows and family, for giving their land to our stock and the amazing care they are giving them, and the support they have given us. We can't thank them enough.
To the amazing people at the RFS, here in Yass and Sydney, the support and care you have given has helped make this tragedy a little easier, you are all amazing, And we cannot thank you enough,
To everyone that has put in the huge magnificent effort and hard work organising this evening, especially Renata, Tanya, Codie, Annette, Julie, Margie, Karen, Kayla, Bill Nesbitt and Bill Frew, a huge thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
To Dee Bush and the Royal Hotel and the girls that cooked the BBQ for donating the monies raised on the long weekend.
To everyone who has donated items for the auction and Veanka for her beautiful voice to entertain us all.
To everyone who donated monies and purchased items in the auction tonight your generosity is very overwhelming.
Out of this tragedy we are very touched and amazed at how many strangers or people we don't really know have stopped me in the street or supermarket and said that they have been keeping us in their prayers and thoughts, thank you to each and everyone. We have learnt how truly blessed we are to live in this wonderful small community.
To each and every one of you here tonight we thank you for your amazing support, donations and friendship and even though it is a fantastic night, we pray that something like this never happens or is needed for any of you.
I am certain that I would have missed thanking many people and if I have forgotten to thank you, I truly am sorry and please drop in for a cuppa and a chat and let me know.
And always remember that if you or someone you know is struggling with depression, grieving or just not coping with everyday life there is always help at hand, even if it is just a coffee and chat.
I personally ask please don't try to face and deal with your battles alone, life is a gift and we all need to enjoy and love everyday to the fullest.
We have learnt through our tragedy people truly do care and we are so blessed to have the love and care of so many family and friends and a wonderful community.
Who would ever live in the city.
With all our love and thanks,
Terry, Michelle and the Apps Family.