Lots of people, especially older ones, long for correctness in grammar, punctuation and spelling. Some even know all the rules and set themselves up as “grammar police” whenever they can. I must say that I do cringe when I hear someone say “You and I” when it should be ‘You and me” or use an apostrophe to make a plural, and I would love to correct much that I see and hear on the television. But some people worry too much about this ‘incorrectness’ in everyday situations.
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Family and friends frequently use abbreviated and/or personal ways of conveying messages, in speaking, writing and texting, which bear little resemblance to traditional grammar. So there is some truth in the quite popular idea that it doesn’t matter what grammar you use as long as you can be understood.
This is, of course, true in many situations, but to be understood you must send clear messages and often the family/friendly language doesn’t carry the same clear messages to the outside world as it does to those ‘in the know’. It can, in fact, carry a very clear message which is unintended.
What we all need to follow is descriptive grammar which varies from situation to situation and which makes sure that the message is clear to a target audience – not prescriptive grammar which allows only one form to be used regardless of the situation.
Grammar is simply a set of rules to govern the meaning in language. It didn’t happen so that people can show how clever they are with words, or to make them appear superior in some way. It came about so that messages can be sent clearly. And, the wider the audience, the less ambiguous the language needs to be.
There is a book titled “Eats, Shoots and Leaves” written for the ‘Punctuation Police’. This book demonstrates the importance of the comma. A book titled “Eats shoots and leaves” would probably be about pandas. Similarly a comma may save lives; note the difference in meanings here-“Let’s eat, Grandma.” and “Let’s eat Grandma.” and how about “I like cooking my family and pets”.
You may think that others will know what you mean, but this isn’t necessarily so and it is foolish to always make that assumption. Most people are not psychic and will think that you meant what you said, so be clear.
The appropriateness of language is important too and though it may be quite fashionable to ignore the rules of grammar in some situations, in others it may matter a lot to be correct. For example when applying for a job (75 per cent of hiring managers say that grammar matters). It is as important to tailor your language to the situation as it is to tailor your clothes, not just for clarity but also as a mark of respect and for the image you convey to others about yourself.
Please don’t check my grammar and remember – if you are losing an argument start correcting their grammar.
Don’t forget the messages you send with bad grammar and the impact you make on others.
