I sat down with a friend of mine that had recently got back from travelling in the Middle East, listening to her amazing adventures and soaking up what I could from her experiences. One of the main things that struck out in my discussions with her was some of the more horrendous things she had been witness to along the way.
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A part of her time there she observed death, destruction, poverty, sickness and desolation. It struck a chord with me, considering what it would be like to live in such a place. Sure enough I wasn’t alone in this revelation. She explained how she began to feel quite depressed and alone during her travels and couldn’t quite understand how the locals were coping with such horror on a day to day basis.
She decided to explore this concept of mental illness from a local perspective, asking one of the elderly men why there didn’t seem to be much presence of depression in the community. He had replied that although they get sad and feel isolated they are able to talk about their feelings. Discuss with strangers, friends, family about the feelings and therefore move past it.
I believe there is a stigma attached to mental illness even though we live in a society that embraces physical well-being and positive attitude.
Perhaps it is just that we don’t know how to be sympathetic. So like any great ‘trashy’ magazine, I have compiled a list of statements to avoid when speaking to someone with mental illness:
Just snap out of it - How great it would be to simply switch off these feelings. Depression does not work that way.
There are so many people far worse off - Comparing other issues is a terrible idea, like they have no right to feel this way.
Well, life is tough - What a reinforcement, that the sufferer is weaker or slightly less of a man/woman for having these feelings.
Introspective - Is that not just basically labelling the illness as a minor problem?
You are far too sensitive - Like a character flaw.
Life goes on - Maybe… The statement that comes to mind is; depression is like living with a 40 ton weight on your chest — you want to get up and move, but you just feel like you can’t.
Just go out and enjoy yourself - unless you are willing to get out and go with them, you are just moving this isolation to a new setting.
You have got so many things to be grateful for - sheer exhaustion and loss of interest are the sufferers main concern, they don’t want to hear about gratification.
Cheer up - Because I’m sure they haven't tried that advice.
You’re strong, you will be fine - Which is the misconception of mental health, that only the weak have depression.
You should try harder - When you say this, the implication is that the depressed person has actually made a choice to be miserable and unhappy.
Learn to live with it - Learning to live with depression with no way out is like entering a dark tunnel.
Perhaps one day we can be as forward thinking and open minded as some of our friends in the Middle East.
(ITALICS) Stay tuned for next week's At the Cole Face. Like something out of Jim Carrey's ‘Yes, man’ through sheer stubbornness and an unwillingness to back down, under the guise of a wager gone wrong, Jess Cole will be tackling a half Ironman on the weekend; 2km swim, 90km bike ride and a 21km run. See her results in next week's edition.