
When Jamie Mallinder was at his lowest ebb everything in his life was actually going right.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
or signup to continue reading
"There was no trigger," he said.
"I was in the best place in my life, I had two beautiful girls and a loving wife and I was relatively successful in terms of my work."
The thirty-seven-year-old from Leeming in Western Australia has come out the other side and is talking openly about his struggles as an R U OK ambassador.
The only thing Mr Mallinder could attribute to his mental health descent was that it occurred around Christmas.

"It was a high pressure time and I had concerns about finances even though on the surface we were doing OK " he said.
"I completely shut down. I wasn't communicating, wasn't doing anything. The things that brought me joy were no longer bringing me job."
It was an R U OK? conversation that was the intervention he needed.

And it came from someone very close - his wife Kit - who had noticed some tell tail signs in her husband.
"She noticed I had withdrawn from friends who kept contacting her saying I wasn't responding, I also had quite a few mood swings and I wasn't sleeping," he said.
"I told her also I felt like a burden."
Mr Mallinder said he initially brushed off his wife's concern but she persisted.
"She didn't take it at face value, she took the time to check," he said.
Through that conversation he admitted he was low.
It became the catalyst to seek a GP that specialised in mental health.
Soon he was on medication and a few weeks later he started to feel like his old self.
"I felt my colours flooding back in," he said.
Mr Mallinder has lost two friends to suicide, something he said he wouldn't wish on anyone.
Those tragedies led him to leave the music industry and begin working in workplace health and safety.
"Suicidal people often feel like they are a burden," he said.
"I think it is really important to recognize that someone who is suicidal may not use that exact language.
"They could just be saying that they want everything to end, they want the pain to end."
R U OK? Day is September 12 and the theme this year is that everyday should be an R U OK? Day.
It encourages people to stay connected, recognise when someone needs help and know what to do next.
The four steps the organisation advocates for is 1) Ask R U OK? 2) Listen 3) Encourage action 4) Check in.
Parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson lost his nephew Logan to suicide.
"I was always the first to say, 'R U OK? Day is great', but people don't just struggle on one day of the year,'" he said.
"Losing Logan has felt unbearable at times.
"Friends provided practical support such as dropping off meals, which was helpful, but not nearly as helpful as the hour-long conversation we had when they dropped the meal off and they have continued to make space to listen to us in our grief."
Support is available for those who may be distressed:
- Phone Lifeline 13 11 14
- Men's Referral Service 1300 776 491
- Kids Helpline 1800 551 800
- beyondblue 1300 224 636
- 1800-RESPECT 1800 737 732

