Claire Brett spent a lot of time imagining her baby when she became pregnant.
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Wondering whether it was a boy or a girl. What month the baby would be born. How her older son would handle being a big brother.
She did not imagine being told at her first scan that there was no baby growing in her womb despite having all the signs of a normal pregnancy.
"[The stenographer] said, 'I'm really sorry, but it looks like you might be going through the first few stages of having a possible miscarriage'," she said.
"It was really, really difficult for me to comprehend that I wasn't pregnant, although I had all the signs and symptoms."
Lack of mental health resources for rural mums
Claire ended up having five miscarriages, one after the other.
She said she became obsessed with taking pregnancy tests and being intimate with her husband became a chore.
Living in rural northern NSW meant a 45-minute drive to the closest hospital and Claire struggled to get the mental health support she needed.
"It's really confusing in your own head to wonder, why am I so upset I haven't even met this human, but again in your head you've pictured and imagined a life with this baby," she said.
"[It's] that sadness of having to say goodbye to something you've never met."
And after her first miscarriage ended with a hospital surgery, Claire said she was discharged without any support, despite telling staff she was not coping mentally.
"I wasn't referred to a social worker, a psychologist, a therapist, I wasn't given any paperwork around miscarriages, I wasn't given any support whatsoever in the mental health area," she said.
"It was just pretty much a pat on the back and 'see you later'."
She compared it to leaving hospital with her first baby Rosco, when she was checked physically and mentally before being allowed to leave.
"And now I've experienced a miscarriage and I wasn't given one ounce of help leaving the hospital," she said.
Demand for help soars
Feeling completely alone during and after pregnancy is an experience that's all too common for women living in rural and regional towns, according to Dr Yvonne Luxford from Canberra's Perinatal Wellbeing Centre.
The lack of support available in rural and regional areas is being highlighted during this year's Perinatal Mental Health Week.
Demand for mental heath support from new mums has doubled in the past six years, with the Perinatal Wellbeing Centre caring for more than 500 parents a year.
"It really went up during COVID times and we thought, oh it's gonna go back down to normal levels, but it's just never gone back down," Dr Luxford said.
"It just keeps going up and I think the cost-of-living crisis is making a real impact on that as well."
In her work at the centre, she treats people experiencing a range of mental health challenges before, during and after pregnancy.
"There's postnatal depression where the mother may feel that she's just not connecting to the baby and she's not getting any joy out of motherhood," Dr Luxford said.
"Some people just simply feel exhausted, other people have a persistent low mood or don't feel motivated to do anything.
"Other people actually worry about absolutely everything ... a sense that you've just lost control of your thoughts and your feelings and that everything's just building up."
Dr Luxford said she's hoping the re-elected ACT government moves quickly on its promise to build a residential mental health centre for mums and babies in the region.
She also encouraged parents who are struggling with pregnancy and new babies to visit the Perinatal Mental Health Support Finder, a free tool to help regional and rural women find support close to them.
Lucy Arundell
Lucy is an ACT Legislative Assembly reporter for The Canberra Times. She previously worked as the city reporter. Got a tip? Email her at lucy.arundell@canberratimes.com.au.
